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Dear John,
I am so sorry to have to tell you but our marriage is over and I never thought that I would ever say this to you but things just happen sometimes. I guess it began when you took that new job and, well you were gone on business trips so often. I got lonely Sweetheart, just too many nights setting home with no one to talk to, nothing to do, it was inevitable I suppose. You know how I hate being alone all the time; it drives me crazy because I just don't know what to do with myself.

Thus begins the Dear John letter you hope you will never received. This is sexual satire/black comedy thoughout that will leave you laughing and cringing as you can only imagine the looks on poor John's face as he reads this final farewell from his beloved wife.


Content Warning: This story is intended for mature readers who will not be offended by graphic depictions of sex acts between consenting adults.

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A Look Inside the Story

As I said, I was lonely and all dressed up and sexy but nowhere to go, so I grabbed that money we had stuck away in the cookie jar to pay for that root canal you’ve needed to get done and headed downtown.  I didn’t think you would mind as you are the one who didn’t come home on time and disappointed me about your surprise and I just knew you would understand that I needed to find a good time. You said yourself that your tooth wasn’t bothering you as badly anymore, I’ll bet the nerves are nearly dead so that probably explains why it is less painful now.

I saw a sign on a club and it read The Zebra Lounge. It sounded like an interesting name and looked like a classy place with such a pretty sign. Well, I’ve never been in there before so I thought I would go inside and see what it was like.  I love going to new nightspots but you never take me to any of them anymore, so this was really exciting. It was quite a place; all decorated in black and white and zebra designs everywhere, really cool.  One thing that was interesting about the place was the artwork that hung on the walls.  Lots of art photos showing naked men and women together; I could hardly believe my eyes when I first saw them. They must have all come from the same photographer because everyone of them showed black men with white women. You would not believe how well done they were and showed the contrast between the white women and black men so nicely.  I really liked them but on second thought, I don’t think you would have liked them at all.

You probably would not like The Zebra Lounge however; I know how you feel about colored people, and there were a lot of them inside, mostly all men.  There were some couples there and they were white people like us. Those white couples, they didn’t seem to have a problem with all the black men there, in fact several of the white wives accepted dances with them while their husbands sat back and watched. Many of these white couples left with one or two black men holding the wife’s hand or with an arm wrapped around her body. I thought that was pretty cool, but I am sure it would have upset you.

That’s when I met Roscoe, inside that Zebra Lounge place.  He came over and asked me to dance, well you know me, I can’t turn down a chance to dance and shake my booty and, well of course I would never have danced with a black man if you were around, not with you and your daddy being in the Ku-Klux-Klan an all.  Your dad, he’s some sort of Grand Klucker or something now isn’t he? You are most likely a little upset that I did dance with Roscoe, but as I am leaving you; you will just have to get over it, and do give your daddy a kiss on the lips for me, okay?

By the way, I never told you this but, I think your daddy was kind of sweet on me, at least before he ran off with that guy who liked wearing dresses; he was always flirting and teasing me. Once, when I was setting out on his porch one afternoon when you went to the grocery store, he walked outside and lifted my sundress all the way up and laughed, “Just wanted to make sure you was dressed right for this heat.”  I guess I was, cause he just laughed and said, “That works!” I wasn’t sure what he was talking about because I wasn’t wearing anything under that sundress. No panties, nothing… so I don’t know what he meant.  But, he sure looked a long time; guess his eyes aren’t as good as they use to be.
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